How To - Get Fired
Getting fired is a skill that very few master.
Hate your job? Don't resign. Get fired so you can get benefits, including unemployment benefits.
Many people think that getting fired is simply a matter of doing a bad job. Not so. Doing a bad job will get you reprimanded. To get fired you need to use a more advanced tactic.
Question everything that your boss and management says. Stop going to those boring 3 hour staff meetings (you know, the ones where they serve lunch in the middle). Put out an email saying meetings are wasting your valuable time. Question everything. Corporate culture can't handle dissent.
But do it with style, do not get annoyed with anyone and never mention your personal grievances. Be cool, calm and collected. You'll be fired soon because you're now an alien to the corporate culture. Then walk into HR and ask, "OK, what severance package do you have for me." Be upset until you get the severance package you want. You'll be surprised how much the company will offer to get rid of you!
If you need to put HR on edge ask them a simple question, "Do you think this represents unlawful termination". Be relaxed as you negotiate a severance package.
And good luck in your next venture.
Content written and posted by Ken Abbott firstname.lastname@example.org